Golf Towels
Southeast Volusia Takes a Swing at Leukemia
The 9th hole was the hot spot. Just before the Holidays hit – southeast Volusia County’s great golfers as well as its duffers, took to the links at Hidden Lakes Country Club.
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Questions about hockey player scenarios?
1) Mike Iberia borrows your car while he was in town. He returned it the next day, and it is trashed. There are open mustard packets on the floorboard, used Kleenexes in your center console, and for some strange reason you steering wheel is super sticky. You discover that he has left his equipment in your truck. Do you sell his used gear and put his jersey on eBay?
2) You are playing golf with Ryan Getzlaf. After every hole, he grabs his sweat towel, and slaps you in the butt with it. The first time he did it, you figured no big deal, but at the 12th hole, it was starting to get annoying. Do you ask him to stop, or do you keep ignoring it?
3) Marc Savard drives you to the airport. You get out of the car, and he drives off, when you realize that you accidentally grabbed his briefcase, and not your briefcase. Do you open it and snoop around before you call him to come back and switch briefcases?
******BTW: Chris Neil sucks.
1) Assuming he is still in town, I call him up and tell him I have his equipment... but it is being held hostage until he cleans out my car. If he's not still in town, I grudgingly clean up his messes (perhaps rent a hazmat suit to do so) and tell him whenever he's back in town he has to take my car to the carwash and buy me a beer... or two.
2) Honestly... if it took me until the 12th hole to get annoyed, he's just not doing it hard enough anymore.
Ahaha, ANYWAY, I'd probably politely ask him to stop... and throw out the threat of shoving a putter somewhere unpleasant. If he persists further, I'd quit golfing right then and there unless he promises to buy me a beer afterward.
3) Wow, first of all, where and how did Marc Savard and I hook up? Haha, maybe I should consider drinking less than Haley. 
After pondering that a bit, I'd call him right away without snooping around in his briefcase. If he's made me miss my flight, I'd not only make him pay for a new ticket, I'd also make him buy me a beer at the airport. WAIT...
Raul Sanderson from Phoenix, Arizona caught on fire during a round of golf with his buddies over the weekend. Sanderson was putting on the 18th green when he was engulfed in flames.
"Man, I've never seen anything like it", said Paco DeLune, one of Sanderson's golfing buddies. "He was having a great round, probably the best he's ever had, then all of a sudden flames burst out of the ground and engulfed his entire body."
Paco was taking a picture of Sanderson as he stood over a 2-inch putt on the 18th green and captured the event as it happened. Apparently, a methane gas explosion was the culprit. The golf course had been built on a landfill, and the hole had been randomly placed over a pocket of methane gas. Sanderson had a big cigar in his mouth to celebrate his phenomenal round and must have ignited the gas. The rest of his golfing partners sprang into action and smothered the fire with golf towels. Sanderson was admitted to a local hospital with severe burns to his face and upper torso. When asked if he had smelled the gas as he stood over the hole he said, "I did smell a strange odor, but I figured it was one of my buddies. You know how it is when guys get together with beer and cigars." Miraculously, Sanderson remained composed while on fire and tapped in the putt for a birdie. He finished the round 5 under par, the best he'd ever shot. "He just gritted his teeth and tapped in the putt", Paco said.
Nick Froden, the head grounds keeper, was asked if this had ever happened before and how they could prevent it from happening again. He replied, "It's never happened before. We have hundreds of tubes located all over the course that are designed to release any methane gas that builds up from the rotting trash below. We may need to install cups with no holes in the bottom to prevent any gas from leaking through."
- John Matthews
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